Finding My Breath Again

At 52, I never thought I would be learning a new instrument seriously. I had tried before. I taught myself a little keyboard and a little guitar by watching YouTube videos. I enjoyed those attempts for a while, but I never got past the basics. I would watch, pause, try, get frustrated, and then stop. It felt like I was missing something — a teacher, a steady plan, or maybe the right instrument.

Then I saw Harsh Dave playing the flute on YouTube. There was something about the sound that pulled me in. It was simple and clear, not showy. I listened to a few videos and felt a small, stubborn hope: maybe this is the one I can stick with. I looked into Flutegandharvas and, without much second thought, I joined. I chose the Diamond membership and began the journey with their Foundation Course.

Starting was humbling. The Foundation Course was full of basics I had skipped before. We began with easy things, but when we moved to the side flute, everything changed. I had a hard time getting a clean sound. There was a constant hissing, and my fingers didn’t close fully. The note Sa stayed slightly open and would not sing right. I remember thinking, “This is not my cup of tea.” It was tempting to give up and go back to the familiar comfort of my half-learned keyboard pieces.

What kept me going was not just the plan or the videos. It was the people. Harsh sir and the mentors did not leave us alone after we signed up. They kept pushing us forward in small, steady steps. And Nalin’s Sunday one-on-one sessions were a big help. He was patient and encouraging in a way that mattered. When my fingers refused to close or my breath betrayed me, Nalin would calmly show small adjustments. He never made me feel foolish for the mistakes. That patient attention made it possible to try again the next day.

I had failed at teaching myself before. That made me hesitant at first. But having a teacher and a community changed everything. The mentors watched the same small faults I had been ignoring. They gave me concrete things to work on. They gave me deadlines, but gentle ones. That structure helped. I stopped telling myself, “I cannot do this,” and started telling myself, “I will try for thirty minutes.”

My routine changed because of the flute. I work during the day and, before joining Flutegandharvas, music was something I thought I might do someday. Now, as soon as office work finishes, I feel restless until I pick up the flute. I make time for practice — at least thirty minutes most days. That small habit made a big difference. Thirty minutes is not a lot, but it turned into a steady thread through the week. The month after month rhythm helped me notice gradual improvements.

There were specific moments that mattered. Completing the Foundation Course felt like reaching the end of a long, slow climb. It was not a dramatic finish. There was no big applause. But when I played a simple piece with a cleaner tone and my fingers did what I asked, I felt a small, steady joy. That joy is quiet, not loud. It sits with me during the commute, or when I am making tea, or when I practice my scales at night. It is a calm kind of satisfaction that I did not expect.

The technical problems were the hardest at first — side flute technique, breath control, closing my Sa properly. I still work on those things. But what surprised me more was how the flute changed my daily life. I became more patient. I learned to accept small progress. I learned how helpful consistent guidance can be. Before, self-teaching left me with gaps and frustration. Here, the community and mentors filled those gaps. They kept nudging me forward, week after week.

If I were speaking to someone who is in the middle of the same struggle, I would say this: don’t judge your progress by the first few days. Small, regular practice matters more than long, sporadic sessions. Make a habit you can keep — for me, it was thirty minutes after work. And find a teacher or a community. Having someone to point out one small correction makes it possible to keep going. It’s not about talent alone. It’s about patience and the right guidance.

I aim to finish Level 3. That goal feels reasonable now because I can see the path. I finished Foundation Course, and that gave me confidence. I still have to fix the hissing and the finger work, but I know I can. Harsh sir and the whole team have helped me believe that progress comes in small steps. They didn’t just teach notes. They showed how to practice, how to recover from mistakes, and how to keep going when things feel stuck.

If someone asked me what the flute has given me that I didn’t expect, I would say two things. First, a sense of belonging. Being part of Flutegandharvas means I am not practicing alone. There are mentors and other learners who understand the exact kind of problems I face. Second, a disciplined little habit that brings me quiet happiness. Music used to be a “one day” idea. Now it is part of my day.

If you are thinking about this path and are not sure, I would tell you simply: click on the Flutegandharvas link and join the community. If my story means anything, it is that the right teacher and a steady routine matter more than raw talent. I’m no prodigy. I am just someone who kept showing up, even when the notes did not come easily. That has made all the difference.

Thank you to Harsh sir, to Nalin, and to all the mentors who kept me moving forward. I started this because I loved the sound of the flute on YouTube. I stayed because people helped me shape that love into something I practice every day.

— Hematha Kumar N