The Journey That Was Mine

Before the flute, I was a jack of many trades except music. I read widely and pursued many hobbies, yet playing an instrument remained something I wanted and repeatedly failed to learn. I was an avid listener, fascinated whenever I watched a performer bring music out of an instrument. Still, demanding global work hours and frequent travel gave me enough reasons not to try, despite having instrumentalists and vocalists in my family.

Learning has always been part of me. I am a qualified finance professional, yet I look after a function so different from my education that people often assume I am an IT specialist. Somehow it was not working when it came to learn music. When I crossed a major age milestone, I wanted to return to something that had remained elusive for years. I chose the flute, almost as a test: had I stopped learning, or could I still begin again?

Everything was difficult. My breath was weak after surviving COVID during the first wave, when I was administered Remdesivir. My workday could begin around eight or nine in the morning for Southeast Asia and end around nine or ten at night covering US Time Zones. There were also twenty-five years of failed attempts with keyboards, harmonicas, guitar and off course, Bansuri. Doubt kept asking whether I was sure. Both my daughters are Sangeet Prabhakar from Prayag Sangeet Samiti, and my younger daughter is yet to clear her twelfth board. I felt proud as a father, but also embarrassed to be starting from the beginning yet again!

There was no dramatic turning point. I simply remembered something a boss taught me early in my career: why not try or retry? If nothing positive happens, we are still where we were. Slowly, I understood that learning music was not a race against other people. It was my journey. I needed a coach who could guide me, accompany me and keep encouraging me as I walked. Perhaps the next attempt is the gate waiting to be opened.

Every sound became meaningful, even when the flute answered with a hiss. One note followed by another felt like a spark. Then came my first Sargam in flow, my first Alankar with mistakes and later clean, and my first melody. I cannot separate what changed inside me: calm, confidence, patience, discipline, or all of them together. I can only experience it. The badge and certificate made something visible too. They showed me that the earlier attempts were not failures.

Today, the flute helps my respiratory system and breaks the monotony and stress of work the moment I hold it. It has also changed how people perceive me. More importantly, it has become a simple friend that stays with me. It talks to me and listens to me. It asks for little, yet keeps giving.